I'm filled with this anxious energy. It's just buzzing around me. Through me. I feel like I'm on fire but freezing cold at the same time. I'm shaking but I'm frozen still.
I know I should just release. I shouldn't bottle these emotions up. But I don't want to feel them because I know it's going to hurt like fucking hell. To be told it's final. That I've lost a friendship that I put so much of myself into only for it to end so suddenly. It hurts.
I should be used to it by now. The fact I haven't cried probably shows something. That I'm a bit more numb to it than I was before. I'm broken. I'm a ruined person. I'll never be right. And that's okay. Quirks are what make me an individual. My experiences make me the person I am today. I just don't think I like who I'm becoming.
I'll have a cry soon I'm sure. I'll break down and then I'll pull myself together and get on with whatever is left of my life.
I want to be gone but I know that I can't be so I have to make it better. I will get better.
I'm just not okay right now.
Over and out,
Gloves.
No comments:
Post a Comment