Number 3 - Conversations and Conclusions

Ok, so yesterday I did say that I was going to talk about this subject and so I shall... Ninja and I had an odd conversation on facebook yesterday which then continued by text after I shut down my computer and lasted until 1:00am!!! IKR! I lost track of time. Every time I read back through them I smile - Nin is ver hilarious - but the first and last texts he sent me make my stomach go all weird. I don't know what it is but it's freaking me out! D: Also, I have come to the conclusion that it's just a crush. He'll come around and realise that. It's just old feelings resurfacing because we haven't spoken in depth for a long time... that's all. He'll get over it. I just can't let his feelings develop, it's not fair on him - he's too good for me. Also, I feel like I'm leading him on (even though I'm not doing anything... I don't think?) GAH! I feel so guilty. :(

Today, well, I did some packing for DofE ¬¬ I like the camping part but the walking? No. Then some revision, through which I was continuously texting Nin so I don't think much of it sunk into my brain. :P Then the brother returned home and so we all went cycling round Pitsford. That was cool, although my limbs feel like they might drop off at any moment :/ Had a shower, washed my hair and stayed in there waaaaaay too long. Its just so lovely in there - you can forget it all (and sing along to cheesy music without a care.) Anywho, I eventually got out and ate. I started updating my DofE stuff but then Hatter turned up to deliver my hat which was a pleasant surprise. We talked for a little while and she informed me that Ninja was in the Village but the phone rang and the Bf - L - was on the other end somewhere in the Welsh wilderness :P I turned on speaker phone and we all talked for a bit more, and then Ninja and a friend walked down the drive and we all had a fun conversation about (Gay) Ginger Fairies and Tiny Ninja Smurfs. While all of this was taking place I was standing barefoot in my PJ's trying desperately to protect my dignity. I think I failed. Miserably.

Oooh, another thing... I invited Ninja round on Thursday to help him learn to ride the unicycle (like the idiot that I am). It's made me slightly nervous and I might get Hatter and D and perhaps J to tag along so that we're not left alone together. I'm sure it'll be fine though, well, I'm hoping anyway. I really don't trust myself right now. I'm a mess.

And on that note, I bid you adieu.

Over and out,

Gloves. xx

P.S. I contemplated cutting myself in the shower today which scared me so much I leapt out almost immediately afterwards (good thing too otherwise I would have shrivelled up like a prune). But that is a selfish thing to do and I couldn't do that to my friends. I heart them all so much (even if some of them are suggesting utterly scary (and "cheeky") things.)

Number 2 - A Confuzzling Situation

So.... My life officially sucks right now.

I had a very long talk with Hatter last night during our sleepover and have still not reached any conclusion whatsoever. In fact, I think it might have made it a teeeensy bit worse. We 'overtalked' about everything and whilst talking about the current predicament I ended up saying the seriously shitty word that begins with L. Crapstickles. It just slipped out while we were talking and now it just buzzes around my head like an irritating little insect.
Some god thing up there has it in for me - my life has become a living nightmare (to insert some humour: female horse of the night). I'm indecisive about nearly everything and I don't know what the hell I am going to do. I think I might just let it play out ans hope I don't get too depressed during the exam period.

Today was.... Meh. I did maths revision for most of the day and listened to "Bolero" several times to try to calm me down, after walking my twin - Hatter, home. Went golf at about 1 'o'clock. That wasn't any help either. I'm still aching from yesterday and every time I tried to focus, one of "Their" names popped into my head and put me off. ¬ ¬ Then it started raining... pathetic fallacy much. D: and there was a miserable atmosphere pretty much the whole day. FML. Still. I'm hoping that it will get a little easier to deal with over time.

On a more positive note: Hatter uttered an EPICAL quote last night that kept us giggling the whole night (although the real meaning really isn't something to laugh about, in fact - I should be worried... but hey.) :- "You are a Challenge." in the style of 'Carl' from "Llamas with Hats". Awesome. Just awesome. :D
Also - Only about 2 months until I go to america!!! :P I cannae wait! Sun, Sea, and learning to 'Quick-Scope' with Keiran (yessssssssssss) who is epically funny and makes me laugh every time we talk XD Perhaps he can keep me happy/sane until all of this mess blows over. I do hope so.

Over and out,

Gloves. xx

P.S. I had a really odd conversation with Ninja just now and I don't exactly know what to do. I shall think about it tonight and blog about my feelings on the subject tomorrow.
Also, I recently discovered that I ramble when I'm nervous. I don't know whether its good that I worked it out now or bad that I worked it out whilst talking to 'him'. Hmmm... ****.

Number 1 - Our Epical Friday (In the midst of Exams)

Sooo..... My first blog... What do I say? This should be interesting.... I'm basically just going to ramble and put down all my thoughts here and just... not tell anyone about it :P That idea has already gone to pot though seeing as I just told Hatter..... hmmm... ahh well...

So today was epic. Unfortunately the boyfriend had to disappear to Wales :(
Uhhh..... lots of stuff happened. I don't think I trust the blog enough to tell alllllllllllll of it yet but I guess in time I shall learn to trust it....

Yea... so we all walked back to our villiage and then went the park. This included lots of dizzyness from the roundabout :P and then a few ball games before going to eat pizza. A few laughs at an answer-phone message led to two more friends turning up on their bikes. :) After pizza we moved back to another park.

I climbed a tree (with help) and couldn't get down :P that was also fun. Did lots of talking with a friend while up the tree and decided to get my unicycle with that friend... let us call them.... Ninja. So yeah. Ninja and I went to retrieve the unicycles and got everyone to go the the other park again so I could teach Ninja how to ride...... Utterly annoying - he got the hang of it almost immediately! Gah! Infuriating. :P But awesome. Ninja then went off and did ninja stuff so I romantic-moment-raped two friends of mine.... Hatter and ....M. :D

While teaching Ninja, Hatter pulled me aside and told me that he liked me, asked me what I thought of him and then said we'd be good together..... I was like O.o WTF. So much so that I did a couple of army rolls across the field and didn't get up again for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. Ninja and M joined us after a while and Hatter walked off with Ninja - obviously to tell him my response and to get his thoughts in return. It was all a bit primary school level really. All of the messengers and such.
M and I lay on the floor and he asked we what I thought, in return he gave his views. This ultimately led onto the topic of L and what I was going to do about it. Part way through that conversation he asked me if I ever got jealous of him and Hatter. I was quite surprised actually, but I didn't want to lie to him so I replied "sometimes". I asked him the same question and he also replied "sometimes". We lay in silence together, thinking through each of the responses, wondering what to say next (at least thats what I did) until the other two returned. They didn't tell us what they'd talked about but it was pretty obvious.

So yeah, then lay on the grass and had a few talks with various people before going back to my house and listening to Busted, McFly and S-Club 7 (to name but a few awesome bands :P) while a few other friends - Uhhhh  X and Zilla - made out on my beanbag. We then ate pasta and told dead baby jokes (NOT MY FAULT!) before going back up to my room and unfortunately two other friends - Hatter and M - Also making out on my beanbag... ¬ ¬ so yeah..... then everyone left and Hatter, C and I listened to depressing tunes and talked.... While Hatter texted.

So yeah,.... Awesome day... and a REEEEAAALLLLLYYYY long post for a first one... wow.

And I'm utterly confuzzled..... WHY?!?!?!?!!? GAH!


Over and out,

Gloves. xx