And here we are again. Just as soon as I feel like I am gettig control of this cloud of drepression it hits me in full force.
I have this thing about control. I take control of literally everything around me to help make me feel more secure because really I just dont feel like I actually have control over my emotions.
I want control. I dont enjoy feeling like this
At the same time, at least I know what this feels like. Its almost comforting because its familiar. And i dont enjoy that its familiar. It just is.
Fuck.
I feel like im back to square one. I don't know what to do. Im speaking to the councellor on friday but she hasnt been super helpful so I'm not that hopeful.
I cant even do my job properly now. Im fucking useless.
