Im not feeling much of anything today. I've felt like this since Sunday tbh but I wanted it to be because I was tired. I guess it's not though. And I'm back to the apathy. With a constant tight feeling in my chest and the occasional violent outburst towards myself when noones around.
I don't know if this sensation is because I'm feeling constantly anxious or my new-found relief around not having to deal with things for much longer is changing how I react to things but when mom saw my arm yesterday I didn't even care that much. And obviously she was oblivious as ever. That or she has ignored it for convenience, as per usual.
Not reacting or feeling that anxiety around it was good. I don't want to feel those things.
I don't think I want to feel any feelings again. I think I'll be happy going through the next few months without feeling anything. I think that will be really nice.
Over and out
Gloves
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