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I felt really down today. 

I had a good couple of hours, especially late in the morning when Olive and I went and got some bits for DnD, and it was nice just wandering with no purpose and chatting mindlessly. But like. I don't know. I really wanted to enjoy today. And I did, I really did. I'd definitely go for another round of golf with olive cause it was great. But at the same time I had these constant thoughts in my head that I was being a pain and that I would be better off just not there cause I was being weird and that just lasted the whole day and I don't know how to make myself not think those thoughts. Because I know it's not logical. I know that Olive probably did want to hang out today and that the people I've been chatting to this evening probably do what to talk to me but all I can think is that they're faking it just to be nice. Just putting up with it to make me feel better. Which is stupid and very self centered of me, people's thoughts down not revolve around me. 

I don't know. I just can't think that people would want to interact with me at the moment. I'm not fun today. I'm just passive and indifferent until I overreact at the smallest funny thing to try to make up for it and then weird people out for being too loud instead. I can't win. Fuck sake. 

Over and out, 

Gloves.