So life had gotten pretty low.
Kitkat revealed some secrets that have been kept from me for aaaages. :/ At least she told me now though.
It appears both her and H are doing more... things.. than I expected,,,, which was a bit of a shock.
Things haven't gotten much better. I still have piles of work to do and I keep procrastinating D: I even watched a video on procrastination as a form of procrastination. I have hit a new low of laziness.....
Also, cut myself again yesterday. With a razor this time O.o yeah.... on my hip so its less visible... unless I go swimming.... which I might do on Friday.... Yeah, I didn't think that through. :/
Also, I'm trying really hard to get over Smurf (yet again) so I don't fudge up Hatters life... As soon as I see him I'll have to start again. I'm pretty sure of that. ¬¬ FML.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Vent Of Feelings - Crappness of crap.
So, i told him to do it today. he bugged and bugged and i just didnt know how to explain so instead i just blurted out that he should get over me and didn't get a chance to really tell him why and such. :/
I then had a bit of a wander round the school to try to calm down. unfortunately i didnt and had to try to keep myself from crying infront of everyone. that took effort. it also made it look like i was ignoring smurf and others too. it sucked. eventually everyone left apart from cleughy and i just broke down and sobbed into his shoulder for a while. felt a bit better afterwards... but only a little. i then proceded to help him with his relationship problems (even though i shouldnt be asked to help with them at all.) i hope i helped him a little.
I explained to cleughy that i might have started to like smurf again. so the only way to un-fuck-up his life is to get him to hate me. thats what i have to do. get him to hate me. that way if i do decide to go away then no-one will be affected. thats what im thinking anyway. unfortunately its not that simple. i get bursts of his smell every now and then and it kills me because it fuels whatever thing is burning at the back of my heart. :/ the thing is - hatter still likes him. which means that if i like him it would kill her. so even though it pains me to say it - i have to try and get over him once again. each time i do it engraves a little more of him into my heart but i have to do this to help hatter be happy, and that's what she deserves.
the giant one returned and i explained the whole situation to him again. he told me of his plot to destroy his ex's life.... yeah. :P
I ran off to the field with cleughy just before everyone arrived to avoid awkward conversations arising. i was planning to stay away from e3veryone at lunch but after cleughy and i asked one another some personal questions and then the giant one joined us, smurf and chan arrived. :/ i was really quite confuzzled because he acted as if id said nothing and yet i was dying inside. i got past that and eventually it was how it was before. really nice.... we left the field and such.... i talked with the others at the top benchy bit before and then left.
i thought that was going to be it but then twin and i walked le dog together and then ate sweets and went back to mine and had a talk fest. ate pizza. had a major talk fest about all of our feelings and such, and i felt bad for having to lie to her about my feelings for smurf. D:
listened to a bit of music, and then listed the pros and cons of smurf and stiffy. that was fun for a while. XD
she had to go home eventually though :/ rant done.
(i also watched the end of a VPM and had a shower.)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
I then had a bit of a wander round the school to try to calm down. unfortunately i didnt and had to try to keep myself from crying infront of everyone. that took effort. it also made it look like i was ignoring smurf and others too. it sucked. eventually everyone left apart from cleughy and i just broke down and sobbed into his shoulder for a while. felt a bit better afterwards... but only a little. i then proceded to help him with his relationship problems (even though i shouldnt be asked to help with them at all.) i hope i helped him a little.
I explained to cleughy that i might have started to like smurf again. so the only way to un-fuck-up his life is to get him to hate me. thats what i have to do. get him to hate me. that way if i do decide to go away then no-one will be affected. thats what im thinking anyway. unfortunately its not that simple. i get bursts of his smell every now and then and it kills me because it fuels whatever thing is burning at the back of my heart. :/ the thing is - hatter still likes him. which means that if i like him it would kill her. so even though it pains me to say it - i have to try and get over him once again. each time i do it engraves a little more of him into my heart but i have to do this to help hatter be happy, and that's what she deserves.
the giant one returned and i explained the whole situation to him again. he told me of his plot to destroy his ex's life.... yeah. :P
I ran off to the field with cleughy just before everyone arrived to avoid awkward conversations arising. i was planning to stay away from e3veryone at lunch but after cleughy and i asked one another some personal questions and then the giant one joined us, smurf and chan arrived. :/ i was really quite confuzzled because he acted as if id said nothing and yet i was dying inside. i got past that and eventually it was how it was before. really nice.... we left the field and such.... i talked with the others at the top benchy bit before and then left.
i thought that was going to be it but then twin and i walked le dog together and then ate sweets and went back to mine and had a talk fest. ate pizza. had a major talk fest about all of our feelings and such, and i felt bad for having to lie to her about my feelings for smurf. D:
listened to a bit of music, and then listed the pros and cons of smurf and stiffy. that was fun for a while. XD
she had to go home eventually though :/ rant done.
(i also watched the end of a VPM and had a shower.)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Vent Of Feelings - A very good day.
Today was awesome! :D Okay so there were some crappy parts but in total it was still pretty good.
Assembly to start with so I told everyone about my tongue eating dream.... that went down well. :P Hatter dreamed about a beach resort in Germany.... lucky sod. :P Aaaaaaanyways, we got sorted into a seating plan which sucked... ¬¬ im sitting next to chris though so that's okay I suppose. I also scared a person.
Then lessons blahahahahahhahah. Booooooring.
At break I listened to Smurfs iPod because I couldn't be arsed to get mine out. That was fun... i think. i cant really remember.... Smurf and Chris tried to carry me to chemistry again :P lol. and my bra strap came undone again.... O.o H tried to sort it out in front of everyone too DX
MORE LESSONS! - texted mon gay bestie in chemistry which was fun. he is so camp!
Luncheon. Well, i ate and then hugged the giant one before leaving to go to the field. cleugh and smurf joined me as i was sorting out my headphones for cleugh to borrow. we walked over to the corner and there was nothing to do.... so i fell on the floor... in the middle of the pitch. smurf lay ontop of me for a bit until the little ones did some oooing. we went and romantic raped chris and dan. that was fun. we ended up somehow lying on our fronts lying face to face.... until chris lay on smurf and then we created a little pile on. :D that was awesome. i then remembered the text jono sent me the other day and had a cowering moment..... O.o *shudders* i curled into a ball and then smurf tried to ask what was wrong and ended up lying over me. we lay like that for aaaages just talking :) twas awesome.... until mr king came along and told us off for innappropriate behaviour!!! O.o
Rest of day was relatively meh. talked for a little and then fashizzled out of school.
DANCE!!! We recorded things. it was epical. end of. :D
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Assembly to start with so I told everyone about my tongue eating dream.... that went down well. :P Hatter dreamed about a beach resort in Germany.... lucky sod. :P Aaaaaaanyways, we got sorted into a seating plan which sucked... ¬¬ im sitting next to chris though so that's okay I suppose. I also scared a person.
Then lessons blahahahahahhahah. Booooooring.
At break I listened to Smurfs iPod because I couldn't be arsed to get mine out. That was fun... i think. i cant really remember.... Smurf and Chris tried to carry me to chemistry again :P lol. and my bra strap came undone again.... O.o H tried to sort it out in front of everyone too DX
MORE LESSONS! - texted mon gay bestie in chemistry which was fun. he is so camp!
Luncheon. Well, i ate and then hugged the giant one before leaving to go to the field. cleugh and smurf joined me as i was sorting out my headphones for cleugh to borrow. we walked over to the corner and there was nothing to do.... so i fell on the floor... in the middle of the pitch. smurf lay ontop of me for a bit until the little ones did some oooing. we went and romantic raped chris and dan. that was fun. we ended up somehow lying on our fronts lying face to face.... until chris lay on smurf and then we created a little pile on. :D that was awesome. i then remembered the text jono sent me the other day and had a cowering moment..... O.o *shudders* i curled into a ball and then smurf tried to ask what was wrong and ended up lying over me. we lay like that for aaaages just talking :) twas awesome.... until mr king came along and told us off for innappropriate behaviour!!! O.o
Rest of day was relatively meh. talked for a little and then fashizzled out of school.
DANCE!!! We recorded things. it was epical. end of. :D
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Vent Of Feelings
Sooooooo, long time since I posted. I never got round to typing up all my diary entries did I? Ahhh well... I'll do it eventually. In the meantime I need to use this to vent my feelings because right now I'm really confused about everything.
Let me start from the beginning.
Now it may sound shallow and kindof "whoreish" but I'm in a bit of a predicament.
At the beginning of my Blog I mentioned that Ninja happened to like me and I sortof liked him back... Yeah well that's still going on, only there's more stuffles added to it.
After I got back I went to Soul Survivor which was awesome and everything but it didn't work out how I thought it would. Hatter spent all of her time with either Ninja or Stiffy, meaning that I spent most of my time with them (feeling left out) or without them (also feeling left out). I lost the buzz of Soul that it gave me last year whereas Hatter enjoyed every moment of it, (even when she was missing M muchly and needed to talk to him). So yeah, not the best expreience... anyways... then *consults diary* yeah well, I got back and didn't feel much better. Met up with friends a couple of times. Stark decided to declare his love for me, just as Ninja started to ask me how I felt about him (again) and I still didn't know... About either of them! D:
Skipping a bit, (and by "a bit" I mean A LOT but it's not that important and relatively boring), until RESULTS DAY arrived. Yeah.... Scary. I did ok, 2A*'s, 8A's and 2B's. Eh, I was hoping for better. Ahhhh well.
We all headed for Cleughy's house (because he was hosting this awesome party) and at the beginning it was fun. I met Ninjas puppy (who is adorkable) and stuffed my face with sweets. Unfortunately I quickly became depressed, and may or may not have cut myself whilst in the loo..... yeah. Had a good talk with The Giant One though. :) That helped a lot. I'm glad I can call him my friend. Still, Hatter was a bit mean that day, - she broke up with M, over the phone, Ninjas phone.... hmmmmm. I didn't really approve so I kept away, then again I think that made it worse because then she got upset that I wasn't comforting her. :/
Blahhhahhahhahahhaa. Lots more happened - we went back to school for one - but I cannae be arsed to go into that now because this is what I really wanted to say:
I started pushing people away, hiding in the library and the music rooms so I didn't have to talk to anybody because I didn't think I could. Everyone will think I'm a bad person if I tell them. IthinkIloveSmurf. There. I said it. I don't think I ever got over him in year 7. Instead I buried my feelings and used other relationships to hide it. But they never worked out because I could never truly kid myself that I didn't like him anymore. I can still remember exactly went on that Tuesday and then the science lesson because they always gave me hope that one day he'd like me back, and now he does... and I can't let him.
When I eventually got back to the octagon I started to talk to Smurf more. I listened to music and introduced me to some new artists which I loved. I just found out that he only talked to me to get Hatter jealous so... yeah. Then suddenly N decided to ask me out (GAH) I turned him down.... but he still likes me so.... lucky me. Stark also stopped talking to me so I supposed he was annoyed with me for turning him down too.... he still isn't talking to me... :/
Anyways, Maxwell and I started talking and became better friends (there's now a rumour going round that he likes me FML) I also became better friends with Newbie and Tobias. They're awesomely nerdy :D
Anyway back to the rant, Smurf and I started talking more and more and it got to the point where I would sit on the wall and he would come up to me and all break we would just listen to songs together.
Everything has gone to shit.
Ninja likes me.
N likes me.
Stark doesn't like me any more. (I can't decide whether this is bad or not :/ )
Yeah, so we all had a couple of get togethers and twin wasn't there for them/most of them so guess who I spent the whole time with? You guessed it - Smurf. Except when she did arrive at Le Bonfire Party, he ran off with her and had a great time. Whereas, I on the other hand had a breakdown in the dark.... Literally a breakdown. I went insane. I started screaming softly and sobbing and rocking on my knees... then ended up throwing bats at trampolines (or in the general direction of them - my eyes were blurry because of the tears). Hmmm, for the Get Together things were better, everyone had a great time, even me and at the end we watched Life of Brian - I sat on Smurf and then eventually Maxwell. It was brilliant. Then The Giant One had a birthday party. I stayed for the gaming too and ended up sitting on Smurf again. :/ I met up with L and Smurf the next day too - at the swings. They may (or may not) have noticed that I was wearing a thong...... (but it wasn't my fault because I wasn't planning on seeing anyone that day).
The next week was when everything happened. Hatter and I kept having snippets of talks and everytime I talked to her she became more strained. I could see it. She hated to see Smurf and I together but I couldn't bring myself to stop talking to him (selfish I know :/). Smurf and I kept talking and on Wednesday we talked... a lot.... it led to him telling me that he liked us both. I felt overjoyed but gutted at the same time. He kept hinting in the talks before and he kept bringing up subjects like - what would have happened if he hadn't dumped me in year 7 and the kiss in year nine and the talk in science - and I secretly hoped that he would start liking me again but then he said it and I realised that it would muck everything up. I think I still like him but now he's forbidden. Hatter is my only girlfriend who I'm really close to. Smurf and I have gotten really close recently and I think that The Giant One is one of my close friends too. Apart from that I find it hard to trust anyone. And that sucks for me. Hatter and I are so similar, thats why we're bezzies and how I can trust her - because I used to be able to trust myself, now I'm not too sure so.... that's putting a strain on our friendship, that and I'm making her jealous for talking to Smurf all the time.
I hate that people think that Hatter and I are the same person. WE ARE DIFFERENT DAMNIT!!! Some people notice that and sometimes they start to like the wrong person. I know that's not their fault but it still mucks things up. It's always us two. They place us together and start liking us both which eventually tears us apart. :/ It sucks.
A conversation Bails and I just had:
I just can't do it any more. I'm going mad. I'm tearing myself apart. One side of me is saying:
"Don't do it, you love him, and you've been waiting so long for him to like you back. Don't give up when you're so close." and the other side is tugging at my hair and reminding me:
"But what about Hatter. She's the only close friend you have left, you pushed the others away. If you don't do this you will lose her and may never get her back."
"Yeah but what about Smurf? He likes you, he'll be heart broken and may never talk to you again."
"That's a risk I'm going to have to take. Besides, you're just torturing yourself talking to him anyway. You'll never be together."
"Well he likes me now, he said so, maybe even more than he likes Hatter. They may never work out anyway - it's most likely they won't - and then you'll regret it won't you. Such an idiot sometimes."
"Well you're not too bright either are you? Letting yourself get that close to him in the first place. You should have listened to Hatter and left them alone to begin with. She was dealing with it."
"No she wasn't, she was ignoring the problem, blaming the fact that they weren't together any more on other people, namely me! I had to do something to take the blame from me, and to get them back together of course."
"You're so selfish! All you care about is what YOU want and no-one else. You're worthless and don't deserve to live."
"I know, I've thought about that enough times haven't I. You know that. After the cutting we were contemplating suicide..."
"But you were too weak to do it, and you realised that it was selfish anyway, the only selfless thing you've done all week."
"Well maybe I should think about doing it again. It would take all of this away, and it would leave the path open for Hatter and Smurf to get together. They'd be happy and I wouldn't have to be miserable watching them because that's what I was. Miserable."
"I know, you ranted about it constantly, you blamed the L breakup thing on 'Lack of Communication' but it was just you getting jealous of Hatter and Smurf again wasn't it."
"YES! OK! I STILL LOVED HIM! Seeing him with Hatter was the hardest thing I have ever been through but I coped, okay?! Better than what you did."
"I thought rationally. Covered up the feelings so that you didn't have to whine the whole however-many-months you stayed with him after you realised you wanted to take back your agreement to Hatter going out with Smurf."
"Well theoretically she did say that I could have him when she broke up with him..."
"Don't even think about that, it'll only get your hopes up again."
"Fine! I can't be bothered to talk to you any more!"
"Neither can I, just try not to do anything idiotic this coming week, although no doubt you and then you'll need ME to clean up the mess."
"I've got you out of loads of trouble before."
"Oh yeah, but telling Chris was a great move was it?! Now I've got to go and fix up that little problem and make sure he tells Smurf to forget about us in person because YOU chickened out of telling him to over Facebook. Moron."
"Fuck off. I didn't chicken out, I thought it would be better to explain it face to face so he understood."
"Or you were just stalling so you could be friends with Smurf a little longer instead of letting him get on with his life. It's not like you're going to be friends after school anyway."
"How would you know? It's not like you can see into the future. We could get together in a years time."
"I thought you were thinking about suicide a moment ago, now you're planning ahead?"
"I was just suggesting that it could happen."
"No it couldn't! He's either getting with Hatter or no-one at all. You don't deserve him whatever. You're selfish and manipulative and can't be trusted. You're talking to yourself for gods sake! You're mad!"
"Psycho!"
"Crazy!"
"Mad!"
"Bitch!"
"You're pathetic. insulting yourself instead of sorting out your problem. Forget boys, focus on your school work. You have an essay due."
"You don't think I fucking know that? I can't do it okay? I can't deal with the work but I have to try because Daddy expects me to get full marks."
"Stop trying to blame it on school or Dad. You know it's your fault. You've been too busy chasing after boys that you have no chance of getting with."
"Shut up! I know I have no chance with him but it doesn't mean I can't fantasise for a little while does it?"
"I wasn't just talking about Smurf. It's the others too."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do. You want everyone to love you. You're hungry for attention. You feed off their suffering, stringing them along before dropping them like rubbish."
"For god-sake! I just didn't want to lose my friendship with them. It had nothing to do with them liking me or not."
"What about Stark then?"
"What about him?"
"Well he used to like you but you didn't realise how much you liked him until he stopped. When will you learn? You have to act now. Choose one or you'll be alone forever."
"I'm probably going to be alone forever anyway, what's wanting people to like me now when in a few years time I lose them all to insanity? I deserve some company now to remember."
"Well if you accept full responsibility for what you do then I'm not going to stop you but just remember: If you do this you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, otherwise you're just using them for company. Don't waste your time with them. Stay friends and confide in them, cherish their love... apart from Smurf. Stay away from him or there'll be trouble.You'll be known as a whore for the rest of your life..."
"I'm already a whore - you've called me one everyday for as long as I can remember. It's drilled into my mind, slowly suffocating me. I despise you."
"Well remember this: You're worthless, a worthless bitch and a selfish whore."
"I hate myself."
"And so you should. Go cry yourself to sleep and dream about the memories with Smurf because you won't be talking to him much longer. And whatever you do, don't back down. You can't wimp out of pushing him away or you won't have a Twin to be with any more. Have a nice night."
Yeah, that's how insane I am now. And I'm scared. Really scared. :/
I think that's all I have to say now so.... Yeah. I'll start keeping you updated on how I feel about things when I get time.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. I've been having these crazy dreams about Smurf and I being together but whatever. Just thought you ought to know.
Let me start from the beginning.
Now it may sound shallow and kindof "whoreish" but I'm in a bit of a predicament.
At the beginning of my Blog I mentioned that Ninja happened to like me and I sortof liked him back... Yeah well that's still going on, only there's more stuffles added to it.
After I got back I went to Soul Survivor which was awesome and everything but it didn't work out how I thought it would. Hatter spent all of her time with either Ninja or Stiffy, meaning that I spent most of my time with them (feeling left out) or without them (also feeling left out). I lost the buzz of Soul that it gave me last year whereas Hatter enjoyed every moment of it, (even when she was missing M muchly and needed to talk to him). So yeah, not the best expreience... anyways... then *consults diary* yeah well, I got back and didn't feel much better. Met up with friends a couple of times. Stark decided to declare his love for me, just as Ninja started to ask me how I felt about him (again) and I still didn't know... About either of them! D:
Skipping a bit, (and by "a bit" I mean A LOT but it's not that important and relatively boring), until RESULTS DAY arrived. Yeah.... Scary. I did ok, 2A*'s, 8A's and 2B's. Eh, I was hoping for better. Ahhhh well.
We all headed for Cleughy's house (because he was hosting this awesome party) and at the beginning it was fun. I met Ninjas puppy (who is adorkable) and stuffed my face with sweets. Unfortunately I quickly became depressed, and may or may not have cut myself whilst in the loo..... yeah. Had a good talk with The Giant One though. :) That helped a lot. I'm glad I can call him my friend. Still, Hatter was a bit mean that day, - she broke up with M, over the phone, Ninjas phone.... hmmmmm. I didn't really approve so I kept away, then again I think that made it worse because then she got upset that I wasn't comforting her. :/
Blahhhahhahhahahhaa. Lots more happened - we went back to school for one - but I cannae be arsed to go into that now because this is what I really wanted to say:
I started pushing people away, hiding in the library and the music rooms so I didn't have to talk to anybody because I didn't think I could. Everyone will think I'm a bad person if I tell them. IthinkIloveSmurf. There. I said it. I don't think I ever got over him in year 7. Instead I buried my feelings and used other relationships to hide it. But they never worked out because I could never truly kid myself that I didn't like him anymore. I can still remember exactly went on that Tuesday and then the science lesson because they always gave me hope that one day he'd like me back, and now he does... and I can't let him.
When I eventually got back to the octagon I started to talk to Smurf more. I listened to music and introduced me to some new artists which I loved. I just found out that he only talked to me to get Hatter jealous so... yeah. Then suddenly N decided to ask me out (GAH) I turned him down.... but he still likes me so.... lucky me. Stark also stopped talking to me so I supposed he was annoyed with me for turning him down too.... he still isn't talking to me... :/
Anyways, Maxwell and I started talking and became better friends (there's now a rumour going round that he likes me FML) I also became better friends with Newbie and Tobias. They're awesomely nerdy :D
Anyway back to the rant, Smurf and I started talking more and more and it got to the point where I would sit on the wall and he would come up to me and all break we would just listen to songs together.
Everything has gone to shit.
Ninja likes me.
N likes me.
Stark doesn't like me any more. (I can't decide whether this is bad or not :/ )
Yeah, so we all had a couple of get togethers and twin wasn't there for them/most of them so guess who I spent the whole time with? You guessed it - Smurf. Except when she did arrive at Le Bonfire Party, he ran off with her and had a great time. Whereas, I on the other hand had a breakdown in the dark.... Literally a breakdown. I went insane. I started screaming softly and sobbing and rocking on my knees... then ended up throwing bats at trampolines (or in the general direction of them - my eyes were blurry because of the tears). Hmmm, for the Get Together things were better, everyone had a great time, even me and at the end we watched Life of Brian - I sat on Smurf and then eventually Maxwell. It was brilliant. Then The Giant One had a birthday party. I stayed for the gaming too and ended up sitting on Smurf again. :/ I met up with L and Smurf the next day too - at the swings. They may (or may not) have noticed that I was wearing a thong...... (but it wasn't my fault because I wasn't planning on seeing anyone that day).
The next week was when everything happened. Hatter and I kept having snippets of talks and everytime I talked to her she became more strained. I could see it. She hated to see Smurf and I together but I couldn't bring myself to stop talking to him (selfish I know :/). Smurf and I kept talking and on Wednesday we talked... a lot.... it led to him telling me that he liked us both. I felt overjoyed but gutted at the same time. He kept hinting in the talks before and he kept bringing up subjects like - what would have happened if he hadn't dumped me in year 7 and the kiss in year nine and the talk in science - and I secretly hoped that he would start liking me again but then he said it and I realised that it would muck everything up. I think I still like him but now he's forbidden. Hatter is my only girlfriend who I'm really close to. Smurf and I have gotten really close recently and I think that The Giant One is one of my close friends too. Apart from that I find it hard to trust anyone. And that sucks for me. Hatter and I are so similar, thats why we're bezzies and how I can trust her - because I used to be able to trust myself, now I'm not too sure so.... that's putting a strain on our friendship, that and I'm making her jealous for talking to Smurf all the time.
I hate that people think that Hatter and I are the same person. WE ARE DIFFERENT DAMNIT!!! Some people notice that and sometimes they start to like the wrong person. I know that's not their fault but it still mucks things up. It's always us two. They place us together and start liking us both which eventually tears us apart. :/ It sucks.
A conversation Bails and I just had:
o jenni mccallum one day probs sooner than u think you wont end up loosing people honestly i had the same thing,u just need to have confidence, and besides we all make mistakes in relationships, but dont let the past get you down, the future always looks bright 
o you dont understand though. I cant afford to like him again and visaversa because jenny still likes him and it will crush her. shes my best friend. i cant do anything to hurt her so i have to get jordan to like her again. that was the whole point in be becoming better friends with him - to get them back together because it was killing jenny but now everythings gone mishmashed. and now i dont want to stop being friends with jordan but if i dont then everything will fall apart. i dont have many close friends so i need to hang onto those ive got. sorry for the rant. i'll stop bothering you now, i just needed to get something off my chest.
I cant afford to like him again and visaversa because jenny still likes him and it will crush her. shes my best friend. i cant do anything to hurt her so i have to get jordan to like her again. that was the whole point in be becoming better friends with him - to get them back together because it was killing jenny but now everythings gone mishmashed. and now i dont want to stop being friends with jordan but if i dont then everything will fall apart. i dont have many close friends so i need to hang onto those ive got. sorry for the rant. i'll stop bothering you now, i just needed to get something off my chest.
o jenni! relax im always around its good to let got of emotions!in all truth we have a problem here, as jordan is waiting for jenny to come begging to him as good as, and is not going out of his way for her hes lost almost all feeling for her, but if we force them together WE COULD MAKE THEM BETTER AGAIN! maybe, as part of the original plan was being with u to annoy her but its clear its more than that atm,
o he feels that jenny v doesnt like him tbh and that was part of several things leading him away from her
o well she still likes him but doesnt think he likes her so she thinks she might try to start over with him. like, breaking up totally and then become good friends again from scratch. I told her it could be a good idea so im going to hang out somewhere else for a while so they have time together. it may mean that i cant be friends with jordan anymore which i'll miss but its probably for the best anyways. jenny deserves him.
o jenni, you should stay in the group just allow me david lachlan cluffy and jenny to occupy him, and we will lead him in to her path and then disaperate to our respected females (you know who they all are) and allow what happens to happen
o i think he wants to talk to her but wants her to make the effort
o he wanted her back so much a while ago but felt she didnt want him so eventually lost interest quite recently
I just can't do it any more. I'm going mad. I'm tearing myself apart. One side of me is saying:
"Don't do it, you love him, and you've been waiting so long for him to like you back. Don't give up when you're so close." and the other side is tugging at my hair and reminding me:
"But what about Hatter. She's the only close friend you have left, you pushed the others away. If you don't do this you will lose her and may never get her back."
"Yeah but what about Smurf? He likes you, he'll be heart broken and may never talk to you again."
"That's a risk I'm going to have to take. Besides, you're just torturing yourself talking to him anyway. You'll never be together."
"Well he likes me now, he said so, maybe even more than he likes Hatter. They may never work out anyway - it's most likely they won't - and then you'll regret it won't you. Such an idiot sometimes."
"Well you're not too bright either are you? Letting yourself get that close to him in the first place. You should have listened to Hatter and left them alone to begin with. She was dealing with it."
"No she wasn't, she was ignoring the problem, blaming the fact that they weren't together any more on other people, namely me! I had to do something to take the blame from me, and to get them back together of course."
"You're so selfish! All you care about is what YOU want and no-one else. You're worthless and don't deserve to live."
"I know, I've thought about that enough times haven't I. You know that. After the cutting we were contemplating suicide..."
"But you were too weak to do it, and you realised that it was selfish anyway, the only selfless thing you've done all week."
"Well maybe I should think about doing it again. It would take all of this away, and it would leave the path open for Hatter and Smurf to get together. They'd be happy and I wouldn't have to be miserable watching them because that's what I was. Miserable."
"I know, you ranted about it constantly, you blamed the L breakup thing on 'Lack of Communication' but it was just you getting jealous of Hatter and Smurf again wasn't it."
"YES! OK! I STILL LOVED HIM! Seeing him with Hatter was the hardest thing I have ever been through but I coped, okay?! Better than what you did."
"I thought rationally. Covered up the feelings so that you didn't have to whine the whole however-many-months you stayed with him after you realised you wanted to take back your agreement to Hatter going out with Smurf."
"Well theoretically she did say that I could have him when she broke up with him..."
"Don't even think about that, it'll only get your hopes up again."
"Fine! I can't be bothered to talk to you any more!"
"Neither can I, just try not to do anything idiotic this coming week, although no doubt you and then you'll need ME to clean up the mess."
"I've got you out of loads of trouble before."
"Oh yeah, but telling Chris was a great move was it?! Now I've got to go and fix up that little problem and make sure he tells Smurf to forget about us in person because YOU chickened out of telling him to over Facebook. Moron."
"Fuck off. I didn't chicken out, I thought it would be better to explain it face to face so he understood."
"Or you were just stalling so you could be friends with Smurf a little longer instead of letting him get on with his life. It's not like you're going to be friends after school anyway."
"How would you know? It's not like you can see into the future. We could get together in a years time."
"I thought you were thinking about suicide a moment ago, now you're planning ahead?"
"I was just suggesting that it could happen."
"No it couldn't! He's either getting with Hatter or no-one at all. You don't deserve him whatever. You're selfish and manipulative and can't be trusted. You're talking to yourself for gods sake! You're mad!"
"Psycho!"
"Crazy!"
"Mad!"
"Bitch!"
"You're pathetic. insulting yourself instead of sorting out your problem. Forget boys, focus on your school work. You have an essay due."
"You don't think I fucking know that? I can't do it okay? I can't deal with the work but I have to try because Daddy expects me to get full marks."
"Stop trying to blame it on school or Dad. You know it's your fault. You've been too busy chasing after boys that you have no chance of getting with."
"Shut up! I know I have no chance with him but it doesn't mean I can't fantasise for a little while does it?"
"I wasn't just talking about Smurf. It's the others too."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do. You want everyone to love you. You're hungry for attention. You feed off their suffering, stringing them along before dropping them like rubbish."
"For god-sake! I just didn't want to lose my friendship with them. It had nothing to do with them liking me or not."
"What about Stark then?"
"What about him?"
"Well he used to like you but you didn't realise how much you liked him until he stopped. When will you learn? You have to act now. Choose one or you'll be alone forever."
"I'm probably going to be alone forever anyway, what's wanting people to like me now when in a few years time I lose them all to insanity? I deserve some company now to remember."
"Well if you accept full responsibility for what you do then I'm not going to stop you but just remember: If you do this you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, otherwise you're just using them for company. Don't waste your time with them. Stay friends and confide in them, cherish their love... apart from Smurf. Stay away from him or there'll be trouble.You'll be known as a whore for the rest of your life..."
"I'm already a whore - you've called me one everyday for as long as I can remember. It's drilled into my mind, slowly suffocating me. I despise you."
"Well remember this: You're worthless, a worthless bitch and a selfish whore."
"I hate myself."
"And so you should. Go cry yourself to sleep and dream about the memories with Smurf because you won't be talking to him much longer. And whatever you do, don't back down. You can't wimp out of pushing him away or you won't have a Twin to be with any more. Have a nice night."
Yeah, that's how insane I am now. And I'm scared. Really scared. :/
I think that's all I have to say now so.... Yeah. I'll start keeping you updated on how I feel about things when I get time.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. I've been having these crazy dreams about Smurf and I being together but whatever. Just thought you ought to know.
Monday, 8 August 2011
Number 72 - Cinema with the Guys
What an eventful day.
Showered and dressed very calmly, sorted my DofE evidence out (finally) and even wrote some "Thank You" e-mails before Twin arrived (not even that late for once! ;P)
We both hopped into the car and got dropped off just behind Mcdonalds. As we walked up my eyes skimmed the surrounding area and a guy in black skinney jeans and a red checked shirt stood with his back to us beside a bench. I gave a little shrug and thought "Meh, he's hot." but didn't really register the entire person until Hatter announced "Oh look, O's wearing skinneys!"
Well.... that was awkward... though he really did look quite yummy in the tight trousers. ;)
We eventually got to the group of them and greeted them all (N, O and The Giant One), before Hatter and I both ran off to find Busker Guy. Alas, he was not there, so instead we went Bra Shopping while the guys scurried off to Game to look at boy stuff. I got this really nice white and blue spotty bra and panties set from Topshop (they always do excellent undies) as well as another two pairs of panties.
After purchasing said items we went off to find the boys, who were (as suspected) looking at boy stuff in the gaming shops. We grabbed a drink in Costa and sat chatting at a table for a while (slightly awkward as N and O were constantly shooting glares at one another >_>) until we decided to get going for the cinema. Walked all the way there from town (the back route) which was exhilarating and slightly scary at times. We did come up with a fantastic name for my "new style" (which includes the blue hat K gave me, some 3D glasses, and my 'posh' posture). They called it P.ER.V. - A compilation of the words: Posh. Nerd. and Chav. What wonderful imaginations. ;)
So yeah, saw HP8 with the Twin (finally!) and it was just as good the second time as it was in America. The seating made it a bit awkward at times though... :P It was: TGO, Hatter, N, Moi and then O. Meaning I kept brushing arms with O (I still haven't replied to his message either :/) and every time Hatter and I needed to hold hands, N would have to smush back into his seat. So yes. Bad seating plan.
After muchos tears, the movie ended and we set off back to McDonalds to re-energise. O managed to bat a wasp out of the air (seeing as we were sitting outside) and stunned it. :P The wind also decided to bother us, so every so often, we'd have to go running after stray napkins and pieces of Happy Meal box. XD - OH yeah! Hatter and I shared a Happy Meal and got a SMURF!!! :D She has decided to take it home and will give it to me soon. I hope. :P
The Giant One stormed off near the end of the meal, which put a bit of a damper on things. :/
After the meal we each said goodbye to one another and that was that.
It was quite a good day actually, despite the awkward moments and tension at times. Yeah.
I still don't know what to reply to O.... D:
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Showered and dressed very calmly, sorted my DofE evidence out (finally) and even wrote some "Thank You" e-mails before Twin arrived (not even that late for once! ;P)
We both hopped into the car and got dropped off just behind Mcdonalds. As we walked up my eyes skimmed the surrounding area and a guy in black skinney jeans and a red checked shirt stood with his back to us beside a bench. I gave a little shrug and thought "Meh, he's hot." but didn't really register the entire person until Hatter announced "Oh look, O's wearing skinneys!"
Well.... that was awkward... though he really did look quite yummy in the tight trousers. ;)
We eventually got to the group of them and greeted them all (N, O and The Giant One), before Hatter and I both ran off to find Busker Guy. Alas, he was not there, so instead we went Bra Shopping while the guys scurried off to Game to look at boy stuff. I got this really nice white and blue spotty bra and panties set from Topshop (they always do excellent undies) as well as another two pairs of panties.
After purchasing said items we went off to find the boys, who were (as suspected) looking at boy stuff in the gaming shops. We grabbed a drink in Costa and sat chatting at a table for a while (slightly awkward as N and O were constantly shooting glares at one another >_>) until we decided to get going for the cinema. Walked all the way there from town (the back route) which was exhilarating and slightly scary at times. We did come up with a fantastic name for my "new style" (which includes the blue hat K gave me, some 3D glasses, and my 'posh' posture). They called it P.ER.V. - A compilation of the words: Posh. Nerd. and Chav. What wonderful imaginations. ;)
So yeah, saw HP8 with the Twin (finally!) and it was just as good the second time as it was in America. The seating made it a bit awkward at times though... :P It was: TGO, Hatter, N, Moi and then O. Meaning I kept brushing arms with O (I still haven't replied to his message either :/) and every time Hatter and I needed to hold hands, N would have to smush back into his seat. So yes. Bad seating plan.
After muchos tears, the movie ended and we set off back to McDonalds to re-energise. O managed to bat a wasp out of the air (seeing as we were sitting outside) and stunned it. :P The wind also decided to bother us, so every so often, we'd have to go running after stray napkins and pieces of Happy Meal box. XD - OH yeah! Hatter and I shared a Happy Meal and got a SMURF!!! :D She has decided to take it home and will give it to me soon. I hope. :P
The Giant One stormed off near the end of the meal, which put a bit of a damper on things. :/
After the meal we each said goodbye to one another and that was that.
It was quite a good day actually, despite the awkward moments and tension at times. Yeah.
I still don't know what to reply to O.... D:
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Sunday, 7 August 2011
Number 71 - A Day with Friends
Tried to sort out my bag this morning. I failed miserably. I didn't go to the park with everyone but I did talk with Hatter for a very long time over the phone.
We left for le friends house at 11:45 (stopped en route to pick up painted ponys from ebay) and arrived shortly after. We left at 8:30.
The day consisted of: playing on the x-box kinect - 'twas great fun!
Playing Cooking Mama on the wii - 'twas also ver ver fun.
Arguing with Chris (XD) as usual
Texting
Reading
Tiring everyone out at the park (including myself) :P
All in all it was quite a good day, taking into account the children we were with were 4 years younger than me...
Got back and finally packed all of my clothes and stuff into my overflowing bag.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. Cinema tomorrow :/ Lets just see what awkwardness it brings.
We left for le friends house at 11:45 (stopped en route to pick up painted ponys from ebay) and arrived shortly after. We left at 8:30.
The day consisted of: playing on the x-box kinect - 'twas great fun!
Playing Cooking Mama on the wii - 'twas also ver ver fun.
Arguing with Chris (XD) as usual
Texting
Reading
Tiring everyone out at the park (including myself) :P
All in all it was quite a good day, taking into account the children we were with were 4 years younger than me...
Got back and finally packed all of my clothes and stuff into my overflowing bag.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. Cinema tomorrow :/ Lets just see what awkwardness it brings.
Saturday, 6 August 2011
Number 70 - Gregs B-day and Elliott
Woke up, washed my hair and started packing for Soul Survivor. Elliott arrived (a little late) and soon after Le Brother, Milo and Le Father went off to the football match. Elliott and I ate and then decided to Wii-ify. That we did (Super Smash Bro's Brawl) :D until The Twin arrived. She insisted on going out and to be honest, she was right because we'd been sitting inside for several hours.
Sat on the springy things and acted like lunatics (getting many weird looks from people) until The Giant One and Ninja arrived.
We all basically just hung around together, chatting and having a good time. It was nice. :)
Moved along to the round-a-bout park at half 6 and played dares. At 7 we returned to mine to bid Elliott adieu but ended up playing keepie-uppies with the balloons in a circle until tea was drunk.
I was expecting mother to insist on me staying home but I was allowed back out again until the very precise time of quarter past 8. :P We walked along, The Giant One and Ninja popped home while Hatter bought chocolate. Perry was working there and we both stood admiring him (definitely gotten hotter XD)
The Giant One and Ninja returned and after Hatter and I scoffing some more buttons we let them have the last couple ;)
Returned to the park once again but only briefly as Hatter had to return home. We all walked back with her and muchos hugs were given.
The Giant One was also beckoned home by his father and so Ninja and I walked home together (he had to pick up his bike). He didn't seem to understand, nor think, that I would be able to stay single for two years. I don't want to stay single either but I just want to be able to control my life properly and when you have another person, it makes it harder to do so. :/
He gave me a huuuge hug and watched me walk to my door (literally down the driveway). Ach, I really feel like I'm leading him on or something. I don't want to. Gah.
The Father and I collected the Chinese and we had a birthday meal. Le cake was nommish! :D
I retreated to my bedroom and talked to The Giant One and M on Facebook as well as O on skype.
After a couple of signal break ups when I was loading HP pages, I decided to give up and write my blog. I was very surprised when I recieved a Skype message from O ( meaning the internet was back up and I was online again.) The message was as follows:
"Ok jenni I have to say this before it blurts out of me. Ever since I broke up with you I've been regretting that decision ever since. All I want to say is im sorry and I want to make it up to you. Please reply but the bottom line is I still love you!"
W.T.F! It took him more than a freaking year to realise this?! Now what the hell do I do? Once again my love life has entered the Cake Shop of Doom and I've got pies aimed at me left, right and centre. ¬_¬
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Sat on the springy things and acted like lunatics (getting many weird looks from people) until The Giant One and Ninja arrived.
We all basically just hung around together, chatting and having a good time. It was nice. :)
Moved along to the round-a-bout park at half 6 and played dares. At 7 we returned to mine to bid Elliott adieu but ended up playing keepie-uppies with the balloons in a circle until tea was drunk.
I was expecting mother to insist on me staying home but I was allowed back out again until the very precise time of quarter past 8. :P We walked along, The Giant One and Ninja popped home while Hatter bought chocolate. Perry was working there and we both stood admiring him (definitely gotten hotter XD)
The Giant One and Ninja returned and after Hatter and I scoffing some more buttons we let them have the last couple ;)
Returned to the park once again but only briefly as Hatter had to return home. We all walked back with her and muchos hugs were given.
The Giant One was also beckoned home by his father and so Ninja and I walked home together (he had to pick up his bike). He didn't seem to understand, nor think, that I would be able to stay single for two years. I don't want to stay single either but I just want to be able to control my life properly and when you have another person, it makes it harder to do so. :/
He gave me a huuuge hug and watched me walk to my door (literally down the driveway). Ach, I really feel like I'm leading him on or something. I don't want to. Gah.
The Father and I collected the Chinese and we had a birthday meal. Le cake was nommish! :D
I retreated to my bedroom and talked to The Giant One and M on Facebook as well as O on skype.
After a couple of signal break ups when I was loading HP pages, I decided to give up and write my blog. I was very surprised when I recieved a Skype message from O ( meaning the internet was back up and I was online again.) The message was as follows:
"Ok jenni I have to say this before it blurts out of me. Ever since I broke up with you I've been regretting that decision ever since. All I want to say is im sorry and I want to make it up to you. Please reply but the bottom line is I still love you!"
W.T.F! It took him more than a freaking year to realise this?! Now what the hell do I do? Once again my love life has entered the Cake Shop of Doom and I've got pies aimed at me left, right and centre. ¬_¬
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Friday, 5 August 2011
Number 69 (ooer!) - Town and Ninja
Woke up with the sheets smothering me, Hatter had nothing. It's like I was magnetised to silk XD
We both washed, I came out of the shower covered in blonde hair though. :P Hatter 'malts' as badly as I do.
We were determined on going into town today so when mom drove us to Auntie Maggies, we scootled off into town to do stuff.
I cant really remember what actually happened because I wrote nothing else down.... But I assume we met up with Ninja there... Meh... Ahh well. I'm sure whatever we did was fun. ^_^
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
We both washed, I came out of the shower covered in blonde hair though. :P Hatter 'malts' as badly as I do.
We were determined on going into town today so when mom drove us to Auntie Maggies, we scootled off into town to do stuff.
I cant really remember what actually happened because I wrote nothing else down.... But I assume we met up with Ninja there... Meh... Ahh well. I'm sure whatever we did was fun. ^_^
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Number 68 - Sleepover! :D
The Twin and I contacted one another, insisting we meet up :P and so sure enough, at Win's house, (mother said we had to visit), we embraced one another after several weeks of restricted contact.
Hatter came back to mine and we updated each other with the tales of our lives over the summer, whilst sitting in my messy bedroom.
Twin eventually announced that she needed to walk B - mothers orders - and so we walked le dog. Uneventful, although we did talk about C...
When we got back to hers she showed me her mask (love it!) - plus she suggested a masked ball for our 18th which I am very much in agreement with. :P - her Harry Potter book - which is spectacular - and we checked on Pottermore (which still wasn't open) -_- We also ate some chicken for dinner. Nom. Got back to mine and latopped, missed Pottermore :( so Hatter would have to try again "tomorrow".
Talked on Fb and looked at many pictures of Tom Felton. We even made a couple of "background montages" displaying his hotness. After swooning over him for several hours and talking about hot guys we potterified ourselves, flicking through pictures and scaring people on Omegle by screaming EXPELLIARMUS! (by text) at them. Got a good couple of conversations out of that actually.
Bunkered down and watched "HP 6" but before we finished we got tired and so shut le laptop down and slept.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Hatter came back to mine and we updated each other with the tales of our lives over the summer, whilst sitting in my messy bedroom.
Twin eventually announced that she needed to walk B - mothers orders - and so we walked le dog. Uneventful, although we did talk about C...
When we got back to hers she showed me her mask (love it!) - plus she suggested a masked ball for our 18th which I am very much in agreement with. :P - her Harry Potter book - which is spectacular - and we checked on Pottermore (which still wasn't open) -_- We also ate some chicken for dinner. Nom. Got back to mine and latopped, missed Pottermore :( so Hatter would have to try again "tomorrow".
Talked on Fb and looked at many pictures of Tom Felton. We even made a couple of "background montages" displaying his hotness. After swooning over him for several hours and talking about hot guys we potterified ourselves, flicking through pictures and scaring people on Omegle by screaming EXPELLIARMUS! (by text) at them. Got a good couple of conversations out of that actually.
Bunkered down and watched "HP 6" but before we finished we got tired and so shut le laptop down and slept.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Number 67 - The Hoggs Save Me!
I got up at 10:30 - very late indeed. Got dressed and started on the chores that the Rentals had asked me to perform. Luckily I Fb'd X and he invited me to the park with his brothers. :D It was extremely fun. We sat under the green thingy discussing holidays and such (eating rolos) before cam rode off, leaving the rest of us to throw balls and frisbees at one another.
Jack dropped by briefly to complain about his motor bike test and comment on the fact that he was now 16 before riding off (into the distance).
It began to rain and I ran off to wash the car, which I didn't do in the end. I did the washing and part of the pond instead.
After nomming some pasta salad (made by moi) for tea, I scooted off to X's again to play Guitar Hero!!! XD I had been talking to O but that game was more important. :D
Guitar Hero was AWESOME! I actually got the hang of it straight away :P We did that for ages, then X decided we should use his new mechanical telescope. :D While he set it up I got myself a drink and then trampolined. Cam was being "daring" and stupid (as per usual) and le little brother said "You look like a fish" which at the time made us all chuckle. :P
Unfortunately it was too cloudy to see stars but still, a fun day. :)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Jack dropped by briefly to complain about his motor bike test and comment on the fact that he was now 16 before riding off (into the distance).
It began to rain and I ran off to wash the car, which I didn't do in the end. I did the washing and part of the pond instead.
After nomming some pasta salad (made by moi) for tea, I scooted off to X's again to play Guitar Hero!!! XD I had been talking to O but that game was more important. :D
Guitar Hero was AWESOME! I actually got the hang of it straight away :P We did that for ages, then X decided we should use his new mechanical telescope. :D While he set it up I got myself a drink and then trampolined. Cam was being "daring" and stupid (as per usual) and le little brother said "You look like a fish" which at the time made us all chuckle. :P
Unfortunately it was too cloudy to see stars but still, a fun day. :)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Number 66 - Getting Home Again
The movies I watched on the plane were as follows:-
Arthur (BRILLIANT)
Kung Fu Panda 2 (Good)
Just Go With It (Great)
I also listened to Adele and Take That - because there was nothing else to listen to - before watching an episode of Doctor Who. I went without sleep for over 24 hours and by the time we landed I was exhausted.
We collected the bags and collected the car and as soon as we got on the road I fell asleep. I have no idea how father managed to stay awake to drive. O.o I did wake up briefly when we stopped to drop le Brother at Milos (seriously doubt that he's going to be able to do much today though :P).
I helped carry the cases in and held out til about 9 but decided to get some rest in the end.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Arthur (BRILLIANT)
Kung Fu Panda 2 (Good)
Just Go With It (Great)
I also listened to Adele and Take That - because there was nothing else to listen to - before watching an episode of Doctor Who. I went without sleep for over 24 hours and by the time we landed I was exhausted.
We collected the bags and collected the car and as soon as we got on the road I fell asleep. I have no idea how father managed to stay awake to drive. O.o I did wake up briefly when we stopped to drop le Brother at Milos (seriously doubt that he's going to be able to do much today though :P).
I helped carry the cases in and held out til about 9 but decided to get some rest in the end.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Monday, 1 August 2011
Number 65 - Departure
Woke up late, the rentals went out for breakfast wheras I ate 4 oreos and half an orange. :) Talked to X, O and TimeSpin (surprisingly about spinning) before I had to leave.
We left our bags at the hotel and tired walking down to "THE Bellagio" Hotel but it was really hot and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy so we walked into one of the hotels and got lost. It took us an hour to walk down the street... but being inside was cold, lovely and cold. :)
To cut a very long story short, we watched the fountains. They were spectacular. It took long enough to get to them though. :P
So we walked back along the street, not wanting to get lost again, to the Luxor.
Le Brother and I went into the "Bodies" exhibition (after walking past the magic carpet stand again *facepalm*) which was awesome. The whole of the bodies were filled with a polymer that preserved the entire thing to a cellular level. Real bodies on display. Really interesting, even the fetous section, which I should have found disturbing. Conjoined twins were on display.
We finished the walkthrough and waited for the Rentals to come out of the "Titanic" exhibition.
Visited McDonalds - I had my regular order but le Brother ordered a huuuuge Big Mac. XD
We retrieved out bags and got a taxi to the airport. The taxi driver was very nice to us. :)
We checked in ad passed through security (I got beeped twice because I forgot to remove my belt *double facepalm*). Moms bag got searched too and they confiscated my foot cream which had somehow got into our hand luggage...
I queued for the whole waiting period to buy 2 cokes and a carton of orange squash, plus I actually spoke to the counter person! Finally: progress! :D
Father and I counted up the change we had left: $1.09 plus a Canadian coin that looked like a dime. (10₵). We bought a packet of rolos for $1.19! (naughty us). Boarded the plane and began watching movies. :P
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. This is the tricky time change bit so I'm just nvfewnbfilb.
We left our bags at the hotel and tired walking down to "THE Bellagio" Hotel but it was really hot and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy so we walked into one of the hotels and got lost. It took us an hour to walk down the street... but being inside was cold, lovely and cold. :)
To cut a very long story short, we watched the fountains. They were spectacular. It took long enough to get to them though. :P
So we walked back along the street, not wanting to get lost again, to the Luxor.
Le Brother and I went into the "Bodies" exhibition (after walking past the magic carpet stand again *facepalm*) which was awesome. The whole of the bodies were filled with a polymer that preserved the entire thing to a cellular level. Real bodies on display. Really interesting, even the fetous section, which I should have found disturbing. Conjoined twins were on display.
We finished the walkthrough and waited for the Rentals to come out of the "Titanic" exhibition.
Visited McDonalds - I had my regular order but le Brother ordered a huuuuge Big Mac. XD
We retrieved out bags and got a taxi to the airport. The taxi driver was very nice to us. :)
We checked in ad passed through security (I got beeped twice because I forgot to remove my belt *double facepalm*). Moms bag got searched too and they confiscated my foot cream which had somehow got into our hand luggage...
I queued for the whole waiting period to buy 2 cokes and a carton of orange squash, plus I actually spoke to the counter person! Finally: progress! :D
Father and I counted up the change we had left: $1.09 plus a Canadian coin that looked like a dime. (10₵). We bought a packet of rolos for $1.19! (naughty us). Boarded the plane and began watching movies. :P
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
P.S. This is the tricky time change bit so I'm just nvfewnbfilb.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Number 64 - Grand Canyon Trip (plus my birthday! :D)
:O YAYNESS, I am officially 16! :L
The Twin and I are twins once more ^^
We woke up pretty early but I didn't mind. We caught a minibus to a small airport outside of Las Vegas. We had to wait there for a little while but I didn't mind that either. I browsed the gift shop with mother and discussed the Yogpod with le guys. XD Funny times.
It started to rain and we were warned that things could be cancelled if it was too rainy/lightening/thundering. :/
We got on the "midget plane" as dad called it and it was amazingly small XD It could only fit about 20 people at the most in it. Luckily there were only 6 of us. :) Flew over the land between LV and the Grand Canyon.
We arrived a little late and so were rushed straight onto the helicopter. :) I was allocated to sit at the front with the pilot!!! He was a very cool pilot and wished me a happy birthday. Once we'd flown over and down into the canyon we caught a boat ride down the river for a little while. Mom gave me another charm for my bracelet reading "sweet 16". We floated with the current, took pictures and then caught another helicopter (again at the front with the pilot - who was listening to some funky music :P) lol.
Went to the skywalk (via bus) - a horse-shoe shaped walkway made of glass that went right over the edge of the canyon. :D We looked right over to see 4000 meters down to the bottom. It was INCREDIBLE! :)
Another bus then took us to find FOOD! (And the bus driver was very nice and sang me a happy birthday too. :D) But yeah, NOM! Well... it was like school cafeteria food but whatever, it's still food. We had a good view of another part of the canyon (well it is 10 miles long, so you can't see it all at once ;) ). Took some photos before rushing to catch the 12:45 bus to keep from missing our flight.
Ended up waiting for half an hour for the plane to arrive ¬_¬ Had to watch a safety video over and over and over and over and over and over again. D: Oh, and le Brother noticed my wrists..... It seems scarred tissue tans better than old stuff.... therefore making them stand out. He told mom, I denied it - tried to persuade them it was just Angus but I don't know whether they really believed me or not... Still, she just ignored us as per usual... :/ So yeah, I need my gloves back. :(
We caught "Midget Airlines" and marvelled at the spectacular views, trying to ignore the tension in the air. When we landed I bought a handmade American Indian dream catcher and a spinner ring with moons and stars on it for my necklace. :)
After waiting for an hour for the bus we eventually got back to the hotel, at which point mom dragged us over to the neighbouring hotel and gave me a birthday treat. The live theatre performance of The Lion King!!! XD
The Brother and Father couldn't go because we didn't have enough money... but still... it was incredible. As the animals came down the aisles right beside us singing "The Circle of Life" I was fighting back tears. Just wow. Words cannot express it. ^^
Afterwards we stopped for a photo. A 'kind' man offered to take a photo of both of us together, so me agreed. Shortly afterwards he invited us to ride on his "magic carpet" - a green screen simulator - and obviously mother couldn't refuse and so we both rode on a magic carpet together on my 16th birthday... XD Not many people can say THAT. We also promised that we'd return and buy a picture/DVD when we 'went-and-got-money-from-the-husband'. We had to avoid that corner for the rest of the evening... :P
We returned to the hotel room, and while waiting for le Brother and Father to return from wherever they were, I looked on Facebook and e-mails. There were so many notifications!!! Horrifying! Still, all of the messages were lovely. :)
The boys eventually returned and we decided to EAT! Nom! Funnles. XD I took Boofle with me because he was too cute to leave behind. ^-^ Oooooh! Did I mention that mom made me wear a MAHUSIVE bagde for the whole day?! No? Well I have now. It was embarrassing. But fun. :)
Anyways, we went to the Pyramid Cafe and got meals. I ate some Quesadillas - well, by some I mean half of one cut into 4 :P It was simply delectable.
The Brother and I returned to the room, I went on Fb and talked to O while mom and dad went off to gamble.
I must say, this was one of the best birthdays EVER in my life (so far). XD
Spent the rest of my night completing my book.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
The Twin and I are twins once more ^^
We woke up pretty early but I didn't mind. We caught a minibus to a small airport outside of Las Vegas. We had to wait there for a little while but I didn't mind that either. I browsed the gift shop with mother and discussed the Yogpod with le guys. XD Funny times.
It started to rain and we were warned that things could be cancelled if it was too rainy/lightening/thundering. :/
We got on the "midget plane" as dad called it and it was amazingly small XD It could only fit about 20 people at the most in it. Luckily there were only 6 of us. :) Flew over the land between LV and the Grand Canyon.
We arrived a little late and so were rushed straight onto the helicopter. :) I was allocated to sit at the front with the pilot!!! He was a very cool pilot and wished me a happy birthday. Once we'd flown over and down into the canyon we caught a boat ride down the river for a little while. Mom gave me another charm for my bracelet reading "sweet 16". We floated with the current, took pictures and then caught another helicopter (again at the front with the pilot - who was listening to some funky music :P) lol.
Went to the skywalk (via bus) - a horse-shoe shaped walkway made of glass that went right over the edge of the canyon. :D We looked right over to see 4000 meters down to the bottom. It was INCREDIBLE! :)
Another bus then took us to find FOOD! (And the bus driver was very nice and sang me a happy birthday too. :D) But yeah, NOM! Well... it was like school cafeteria food but whatever, it's still food. We had a good view of another part of the canyon (well it is 10 miles long, so you can't see it all at once ;) ). Took some photos before rushing to catch the 12:45 bus to keep from missing our flight.
Ended up waiting for half an hour for the plane to arrive ¬_¬ Had to watch a safety video over and over and over and over and over and over again. D: Oh, and le Brother noticed my wrists..... It seems scarred tissue tans better than old stuff.... therefore making them stand out. He told mom, I denied it - tried to persuade them it was just Angus but I don't know whether they really believed me or not... Still, she just ignored us as per usual... :/ So yeah, I need my gloves back. :(
We caught "Midget Airlines" and marvelled at the spectacular views, trying to ignore the tension in the air. When we landed I bought a handmade American Indian dream catcher and a spinner ring with moons and stars on it for my necklace. :)
After waiting for an hour for the bus we eventually got back to the hotel, at which point mom dragged us over to the neighbouring hotel and gave me a birthday treat. The live theatre performance of The Lion King!!! XD
The Brother and Father couldn't go because we didn't have enough money... but still... it was incredible. As the animals came down the aisles right beside us singing "The Circle of Life" I was fighting back tears. Just wow. Words cannot express it. ^^
Afterwards we stopped for a photo. A 'kind' man offered to take a photo of both of us together, so me agreed. Shortly afterwards he invited us to ride on his "magic carpet" - a green screen simulator - and obviously mother couldn't refuse and so we both rode on a magic carpet together on my 16th birthday... XD Not many people can say THAT. We also promised that we'd return and buy a picture/DVD when we 'went-and-got-money-from-the-husband'. We had to avoid that corner for the rest of the evening... :P
We returned to the hotel room, and while waiting for le Brother and Father to return from wherever they were, I looked on Facebook and e-mails. There were so many notifications!!! Horrifying! Still, all of the messages were lovely. :)
The boys eventually returned and we decided to EAT! Nom! Funnles. XD I took Boofle with me because he was too cute to leave behind. ^-^ Oooooh! Did I mention that mom made me wear a MAHUSIVE bagde for the whole day?! No? Well I have now. It was embarrassing. But fun. :)
Anyways, we went to the Pyramid Cafe and got meals. I ate some Quesadillas - well, by some I mean half of one cut into 4 :P It was simply delectable.
The Brother and I returned to the room, I went on Fb and talked to O while mom and dad went off to gamble.
I must say, this was one of the best birthdays EVER in my life (so far). XD
Spent the rest of my night completing my book.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Number 63 - Onward to Vegas!
I had another weird dream last night.... Okay, so Hatter and I were at Obamas House, chatting with him and listening to his strategy for the debt crisis. Then I found his model car set and started playing with it but mom told me off so I walked off and found O. We went sailing and people kept shouting out, asking me for advice on what to do in the debt crisis so I drifted off and O, Hatter and I went and stood with Obama to tell the whole of America our idea. Like I said, weird.
We drove the rest of the way to LV today. I read the whole way there (a whole book in the "Fallen" series) only stopping to listen to some songs that I have fallen in love with = "One and Only" and "Knocked Down", two very different and interesting songs. :)
We arrived at the "Vegas Strip" which is where all the famous hotels are with the Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty and The Pyramid (which was our destination). It is black and shiny and is made of windows and all in all it is awesome. And we are staying in it! :D
We dropped off our luggage and le Father and I went out to drop the car off at the rental place, which we did after driving round for 15 minutes trying to find it. Dad forced us to get the shuttle bus to the airport and then to the hotel because he didn't want to pay for a cab. Still, we had time to talk about stuff and since it was now officially the start of my 32 hour birthday (in England - it was only 4 in the afternoon in America) I got all excited. :) It took Father and I longer than expected but we did get another few good photos of the hotels. :)
I took a picture of the inside of the pyramid (which is theoretically wrong because it looks more like a Mayan temple than an Egyptian one but ahh well, what can you do eh?). Mom and le Brother welcomed us in and showed me the table layed out by the windows, covered with cards and a couple of presents ^-^ Epical! :) I heart my family (sometimes.... ;P)
In other news, Le Brother found a packet of Viagra while in search for the internet cable on top of the wardrobe... XD
I Fb'd with X and O before I was shuffled out of our room and into the expanse of the "tomb". We got lost, but eventually found our way to a buffet. :D I didn't eat a lot, but everyone else said that it was delicious.
Walked through the different hotels which was cool - New York and MGM and Excalibur. They all had smokey casinos in though, which we had to walk through, which started to make me feel a little sick :/ After walking past a few, getting on a monorail, and walking again in the humid air I really started to feel ill. Watched a volcano "explode" and looked at the lovely decorations in the Venetian (with the gondolas) - which reminded me of Hatter once again. I felt like I was about to puke so mother suggested we get a cab back up the 1 mile stretch back to the hotel to save me from walking. I was ready to agree with anything that got us back by then.
Feeling all sweaty and not being able to breathe properly, I somehow made it to the cab station. We got in line and once I sat down in the cool air of the AC I felt a little better again.
He dropped us off and I rushed up to the hotel room. After brushing my teeth and changing into my discovery cove t-shirt (Hatters twin one we use) and Fbing people "thank-yous", I went to sleep. Or tried to anyways.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
We drove the rest of the way to LV today. I read the whole way there (a whole book in the "Fallen" series) only stopping to listen to some songs that I have fallen in love with = "One and Only" and "Knocked Down", two very different and interesting songs. :)
We arrived at the "Vegas Strip" which is where all the famous hotels are with the Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty and The Pyramid (which was our destination). It is black and shiny and is made of windows and all in all it is awesome. And we are staying in it! :D
We dropped off our luggage and le Father and I went out to drop the car off at the rental place, which we did after driving round for 15 minutes trying to find it. Dad forced us to get the shuttle bus to the airport and then to the hotel because he didn't want to pay for a cab. Still, we had time to talk about stuff and since it was now officially the start of my 32 hour birthday (in England - it was only 4 in the afternoon in America) I got all excited. :) It took Father and I longer than expected but we did get another few good photos of the hotels. :)
I took a picture of the inside of the pyramid (which is theoretically wrong because it looks more like a Mayan temple than an Egyptian one but ahh well, what can you do eh?). Mom and le Brother welcomed us in and showed me the table layed out by the windows, covered with cards and a couple of presents ^-^ Epical! :) I heart my family (sometimes.... ;P)
In other news, Le Brother found a packet of Viagra while in search for the internet cable on top of the wardrobe... XD
I Fb'd with X and O before I was shuffled out of our room and into the expanse of the "tomb". We got lost, but eventually found our way to a buffet. :D I didn't eat a lot, but everyone else said that it was delicious.
Walked through the different hotels which was cool - New York and MGM and Excalibur. They all had smokey casinos in though, which we had to walk through, which started to make me feel a little sick :/ After walking past a few, getting on a monorail, and walking again in the humid air I really started to feel ill. Watched a volcano "explode" and looked at the lovely decorations in the Venetian (with the gondolas) - which reminded me of Hatter once again. I felt like I was about to puke so mother suggested we get a cab back up the 1 mile stretch back to the hotel to save me from walking. I was ready to agree with anything that got us back by then.
Feeling all sweaty and not being able to breathe properly, I somehow made it to the cab station. We got in line and once I sat down in the cool air of the AC I felt a little better again.
He dropped us off and I rushed up to the hotel room. After brushing my teeth and changing into my discovery cove t-shirt (Hatters twin one we use) and Fbing people "thank-yous", I went to sleep. Or tried to anyways.
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
Friday, 29 July 2011
Number 62 - Weirdest Dream. Ever.
Basically I dreamt that I took some people on holiday with me: M, L, Nerd, Some popular guy I've never seen before, Zilla, Hatter, (Moi) and Some popular girl that I've also never seen before.
It was like a mixture of the school and the fair to the airport and then suddenly we were in Umbria. Why we were in Umbria I have no idea. We just were. We each had allocated rooms and sometimes we snuck into one anothers room and chatted. One time I snuck into M and L's room and we talked and had great fun. I can't remember why, I just know it was. :P I've drawn a little picture in my diary actually... So I'll copy it on paint so I can remember it or something... It was just really weird.
So yeah. Woke up from... That... and got on the road again. Spent 3-4 hours listening to the YogPod once again and read too.
Stopped off in Fresno and had a tour of these really interesting underground gardens. The guy who created them used to live underground with them... which was slightly strange, but still, it was awesome. He hand dug all of these tunnels and groves and grew loads of trees for about 50 acres. It really was amazing. His house actually reminded me of Hatter (everything seems to be reminding me of her recently, I think it's a mixture of the guilt of missing her B-day yet again and the fact that we've been apart for longer than we usually are when I go abroad), but yeah, I think it was the fact that it was cosy and handmade and I miss her more now.
So that was cool. Got back in the car and I did yet more reading. It reached 100°F as we got further south. I can't even imagine what it would be like if we didn't have the AC. You can tell by the windows though (which are boiling) how hot it is outside.
A bit of excitement along the way included a motorcyclist with his arse showing and the tire on the truck in front of us blowing up. Thanks to dads expert driving (and swerving) skills though, we managed to avoid getting hit (and potentially crushed) by the flying debris. 'Twas quite exciting actually XD
Ate at a "country western" bar after checking in and once I'd checked Fb, le Brother and I went swimming. I shared an awful lot of information with him that I shouldn't have but he returned the same secrets so I guess that was alright. He did say that he suspected I was bi though. Of course I didn't say yes because at the bar we'd all had another one of those "Homophobic vs Homosexual" arguments, and no-one won as-per-usual.
Meh. I feel really bad that I'm lying to my family but it's not like I can tell them without them taking me to a psychiatrist or something. :/ Ahhh well, I guess that's how life is. I might talk to Nerd about it. He always seems to know what to do. :)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
It was like a mixture of the school and the fair to the airport and then suddenly we were in Umbria. Why we were in Umbria I have no idea. We just were. We each had allocated rooms and sometimes we snuck into one anothers room and chatted. One time I snuck into M and L's room and we talked and had great fun. I can't remember why, I just know it was. :P I've drawn a little picture in my diary actually... So I'll copy it on paint so I can remember it or something... It was just really weird.
 |
| Le House plan in Umbria....? |
Stopped off in Fresno and had a tour of these really interesting underground gardens. The guy who created them used to live underground with them... which was slightly strange, but still, it was awesome. He hand dug all of these tunnels and groves and grew loads of trees for about 50 acres. It really was amazing. His house actually reminded me of Hatter (everything seems to be reminding me of her recently, I think it's a mixture of the guilt of missing her B-day yet again and the fact that we've been apart for longer than we usually are when I go abroad), but yeah, I think it was the fact that it was cosy and handmade and I miss her more now.
So that was cool. Got back in the car and I did yet more reading. It reached 100°F as we got further south. I can't even imagine what it would be like if we didn't have the AC. You can tell by the windows though (which are boiling) how hot it is outside.
A bit of excitement along the way included a motorcyclist with his arse showing and the tire on the truck in front of us blowing up. Thanks to dads expert driving (and swerving) skills though, we managed to avoid getting hit (and potentially crushed) by the flying debris. 'Twas quite exciting actually XD
Ate at a "country western" bar after checking in and once I'd checked Fb, le Brother and I went swimming. I shared an awful lot of information with him that I shouldn't have but he returned the same secrets so I guess that was alright. He did say that he suspected I was bi though. Of course I didn't say yes because at the bar we'd all had another one of those "Homophobic vs Homosexual" arguments, and no-one won as-per-usual.
Meh. I feel really bad that I'm lying to my family but it's not like I can tell them without them taking me to a psychiatrist or something. :/ Ahhh well, I guess that's how life is. I might talk to Nerd about it. He always seems to know what to do. :)
Over and out,
Gloves. xx
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