Anxiety

I've just been overwhelmed with this horrid feeling all week and it's the same feeling I get when I think about Olly or Milly or Jake so I'm  almost certain it's my anxiety spiking, though it's not as strong as when I think about them so I'm  relieved about that, I don't think I could deal as well with double the anxiety. 

Everything is stressful at the moment and I'm trying not to panic but it doesn't help that noone is certain about anything so I can't plan very well. Also everyone is cancelling which means I'm spending my evenings sitting in my room overthinking which is also not pleasant and its just so frustrating. I was getting better at managing things but it's all piling up and getting on top of me and I don't know how to stop snowballing. My plans for the entire year are up in smoke and I'm struggling to look forward. 

My whole plan for this year was to make plans to look forward to. To have something constantly lined up. Something to live for. 

Now everything is being put on hold til god knows when and its becoming harder and harder to tell myself to hang on for the next thing. Because it might not even happen. 

I don't know. I'm meeting up with someone new this weekend which I'm holding on to at the moment. Just gotta make it to Monday. Then I can think about the next week later. 

Over and out, 

Gloves. xx